So who is more powerful - Gandalf or The Balrog?

The other day, I was doing some work related reading at home when I decided to take a break and look at what was showing on the electronic mind control box - also known as the television set. After a couple minutes of surfing the channels, I realized that there was nothing worth watching on TV, so I decided to put on my DVD copy of Peter Jackson's "The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers" and watch the film for the 374th time. Suddenly, a vision appeared to me when I started watching the opening sequence of the film. In my vision, I finally saw clues that might help answer a question whose solution has eluded myself and millions of other J.R.R. Tolkien fans - namely, exactly how powerful are The Balrog and Gandalf the Grey?

My insight was as follows: In the opening sequence of the film, the amount of time it takes for Gandalf to start falling from the Bridge of Khazad-dum to the time when he and The Balrog hit the water is 71 seconds. Now, making an assumption that gravity is the same in Arda / Middle Earth as it is in our own world, we can scientifcally calculate not only how fast Gandalf and the Balrog were falling when they hit the underground lake, but we can also determine how far they fell.

The formula for determining the acceleration of a free falling body is: Vf = g x t, where Vf = rate of velocity of fall, g = rate of pull of gravity, and t = time. In our own world, g = 9.8 meters per second per second. Ergo, Vf = 9.8m/second squared x 71 seconds, which yields a figure of 695.8 meters per second! Put it another way, Gandalf and The Balrog hit the water while falling at about 2,282.8 feet per second!!!

So with that problem solved, one might ask exactly how FAR did Gandalf and the Big Bad Fiery Beastie fall? Well gentle readers, that problem is also easily solved. The distance fallen equals 0.5 x (gravity) x (time squared). Plugging in our numbers, this yields 0.5 x 9.8m / second squared x 71 seconds (squared). This comes out to 24,700.9 meters or about 15.34 miles!

WOW!!!

So Mr. Mighty Wizard, what are you trying to say? Well ladies and gentlemen, taking these figures one step further, I can then calculate - in Dungeons and Dragons terms - exactly how many hit points The Balrog and Gandalf have. If I feed these numbers through my amazing Ultra Electro - Positronic, Nucleo - Force, Magnatronic hit point computer, they reveal the following figures:

The Balrog has exactly 83,467 hit points.
Gandalf the Grey has exactly 64, 359 hit points.

Problem solved.

PS: This webpage was composed after having drunk vast quantities of Jack Daniels.

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